Bang. The ball hits the back of the net and Lampard and team are celebrating. Around the ground Chelsea fans bellow out ‘it’s all gone quiet over there’ while pointing to the now quiet opposing fans. Sure, a momentary lapse, maybe a mistake by the Arsenal defence has led to another goal. Nevertheless the fans are quiet. Chelsea are set to win this one.
It’s all gone quiet over here too. Deathly quiet, and I can’t even hear the tills ring. Instead, I can hear staff talking and price guns bleeping. Styling the nation? Not today.
If we were hoping for customers, we should have got on our knees to pray this morning. Instead we stand, we walk the department, we check the stock, adjust the price tags, adjust ourselves, sweep the floor and replenish stock. The professional touch!
When I eventually did have a potential customer within sight, all went pear shaped. My gentle offer to help was rebuffed with the words ‘rather than help myself you mean?”. God bless even stroppy customers. To add to my excitement today, my future working hours have been cut. working 4 or 5 days a week looks (again) like a thing of the past, as staff are returning to work after having babies. Working 2 days a week appears to be my lot at the moment, so, what I need is a miracle, and now would be good.
Its’ not just quiet over here in Bagland, other departments are quiet. Even at home, and according to my incoming emails, it would appear recruitment agents (er consultants) are either asleep, walking the streets or twidling their thumbs till another frustrated candidate phones in chasing them. The jobs are few and far between and there are only a few that even get my attention. Does working in Abu Dhabi or Spain appeal. Mmm, Abu Dhabi? No, even though the money is appealing. Spain? Well let’s think about it… No.
Right… How about becoming a minor celebrity, a bus driver, a talkshow host, so I can get to appear on Matthew Wright show… or maybe become an MP or something equally worthy… At least i’ll get my expenses paid!
The store was almost deserted, and couldn’t even see any suspicious looking customers to report to security. If they’ve got any sense security staff would have switched channels on their store monitors and tuned into something more interesting like Bargain Hunt.
Time for a tea break I think – a long one.
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