Fulfilled or Frustrated?

‘In due season he will honour you with every blessing.’ Psalm 37:34

I understand that there is usually a gap between a dream and the achievement of that dream. The question worth considering is whether it is a fulfillment gap or a frustration gap – for you and I!

I know I suffer the frustration gap – where I recognise that I am unhappy while i’m in it. Especially at work. The consequence is that most days I’m frustrated instead of fulfilled, and the dream (as such) stifles me while I seek to move forward toward the dream.

The difference, or gap between dream and fulfillment is a dip, which  represents the adversity we face, the learning curve,  and the hard work we must be willing to invest between conception and realisation.

Sounds easy, but it’s not. Especially when the ‘dip’ you are in seems to be a road without end…

Here are some verses from the Bible which might help spur us on. ‘Don’t be impatient for the Lord (God) to act! Keep travelling steadily along his pathway and in due season he will honour you with every blessing.’ ‘Do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded…’ (Hebrews 10:35-36 NIV).

‘So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal’ (2 Corinthians 4:18 NIV).

God has promised us more than just the fulfilment of our dreams; He has promised joy in each step you take toward it.

I don’t feel particiularly joyful at present, I feel worn out, out of ‘ideas’ and lacking ‘job search stamina’.

Even so…. I won’t give up my efforts, so much at stake…

Job search depression?

In Summer of 2007 redundancy came my way, the next few months were a mix of job hunting and taking a well earned break. 18 years with one employer is a long time.

I signed up with numerous recruitment companies and online job boards. I had a handful of interviews but it was a couple of years later that I got another job, even so it was not what I really wanted and the wages were awful, and still no where near what we need as a family. But hey, I got work and I still have a roof over my head, and food to eat. I can continue my job search in the evenings.

Did I expect it to take so long? No.

Was it a frustrating uphill climb day in and day out that felt like it might never end? After a number of months, yes of course.

The moment you realize that your job search is taking longer than you expected is the moment so-called job search ‘depression’ can rear its ugly head.

Does ‘job search depression’ really exist?
Secondary stressors of job loss such as financial strain and loss of personal control are some of the true culprits that can lead to low feelings and even depression. Studies seem to indicate that elevated levels of depression may reduce the likelihood of reemployment. Mmm not looking good eh.

In other words, it can be consequences of losing your job that lead to problems, not necessarily the job loss itself.

 Possible Causes

1. Loss of control – sudden, traumatic change of having a great job one day and no job the next.
2. Uncertainty of not knowing when the job search will end.
3. The ever-continuing quest for acceptance that is a job search.
4. Feeling of insignificance stemming from a lack of replies to your job applications.
5. Overwhelming ratio of rejection letters and emails, to more positive replies.
6. Being forced into this rather daunting and alien situation with no choice in the matter.
7. The unease of having to do something that you were never taught about or prepared for. (job search).
8. The strain of managing personal finances after your main source of income is gone.
9. Having to continue to support a family or other dependents during a rough moment in your life.
10. The realisation that you might be stressing out or struggling in another way.
11. The need to deal with these feelings while still appearing upbeat in interviews and when networking.
12. Seeing others enjoying their lot while you continue the unending search.
13. Pride. Being unemployment can for some be an embarrassment , and still a taboo for some.
14. Questions such as “What do you do?” reinforces the (false) idea that what we do for work is our identity.

What to do?
Here are some ideas, you might find others that work for you.

One of the most important factors for me was surrounding myself who are positive people who can spur me on, in the good and frustrating times.

Write and re-write your CV until you are comfortable it is a true reflection of you, your skills, aspirations. A good CV will help lift you and give you added confidence.

In tandem with all this, you should seek out job search professionals who will understand your situation and guide you along.  Maybe you can keep track of your concerns and worries can help keep them under control. Maybe you can…

1. Print out the list above and in terms of how much a cause is likely to affect you (or is affecting you) and rate it on a scale of 1 to 5 where 1 is “very little” and 5 is “a lot”.
2. Create priorities by sorting the list in decreasing order so that the 5s – the most worrisome causes – appear at the top.
3. Try to imagine actions you can take to block each cause.
4. Follow through with your recommended actions, especially for those top ranked causes.
5. After each month of your job search, take some time to reflect on the causes and evaluate what’s aspects of your job search are working, and what isn’t and what might need tweaking.
6. Pray!

Whatever your situation, there are people around who can help, try seek them out and speak honestly with them. They might be a trusted friend, co-worker or relative, a Church leader or Pastor, a Youth worker or staff at a job or drop in centre.

Anything else?
If you need professional help in regard to any health issues or possible depression, don’t shy away from considering your local GP, he/ she may be able to help. The Samaritans do a great job of getting alongside people struggling, and will always have someone you can talk to.

(UK) Telephone 08457 90 90 90

Or Email  jo@samaritans.org

Best foot forward

Brendan has been struggling to get work for some time now. At best he has held down jobs for a few months and until a few weeks ago he had all but given up looking, and his demeanor when I first met him gave this away.

Having been tipped off by a mutual friend that he was out of work and available for casual work, an approach was made to him. After an uncertain start he now joins us for a couple of days work each week. His general availability at a moments notice suits us perfectly, and he has become a valued part of our team often the first casual worker we call upon.

Over the months as we’ve got to know him, aspects of his story has unraveled, it has become clear that holding down a full time job has been a real issue for him. He is certainly a good worker, well liked and has transferable skills he can exploit. What he doesn’t have if he is to achieve his goal of full-time work is a hardworking CV… or rather he didn’t. Over a week ago a colleague and I helped him rewrite it. The original wouldn’t have been taken seriously by any potential employer or recruitment professional as it was full of glaring errors, mistakes, incomplete entries and with a work history that was presented backwards.

(We struggle to understand how this hasn’t been picked up by others, especially those at the Job Centre).

Once the CV was finalised a spring in his step has been apparent, he is growing in confidence. Now he can apply himself to uploading, emailing and posting it in response to vacancies as they appear. He has a lot to offer and in time we hope to hear some good news.

Good news came in another guise last week when a colleague announced she was leaving, moving on after one year. She is obviously delighted having landed a senior marketing role in the cosmetics/ personal care industry. Ironically her opportunity came about, not via a CV in the first instance but through her own efforts of networking and then a personal recommendation.

We wish her well and look forward to the cake at the leaving do!

Personal recommendations can pay dividends in other areas of life too. It’s the same for all of us I’m sure. In my own experience this has included suggestions of where to shop, which trades people to approach, which music to listen to, the best family days out, churches to visit, books to read, paints to try, food and drinks to sample and more recently health professionals to call.

Having called on the NHS for the required help and not received it, I recently conceded that I should consider seeing a specialist even if it meant going for private treatment. A few years ago I would have baulked at the idea but due to the ongoing pain and condition of my left foot – I felt it necessary. Last Wednesday at the consultation my feet was given a careful once over, measured, manipulated, and my Metatarsus bones bent every which way to locate the source of pain. Even though the appointment didn’t conclude with a single proposition on the way ahead (next step?) I felt better for going.

Under no pressure to make a second appointment I will weigh up the options available to me. Going under the knife for a small operation which may not improve things doesn’t hold much appeal. Plan B then?

Ready Steady Go / CRE Sandown / CRE Telford

– – – – – ADVERTORIAL – – – – –

Ready Steady Go is the theme of the CRE Exhibition at Sandown 2011 and Telford 2011 and this year the organisers claim that ‘Possibly everything you require will be available at this unique resource exhibition’.

That is, with one HUGE exception at least. WorkHope won’t be there! I can’t afford it, although I might be tempted to stand in the Car Park and give out the odd advertising flyer whilst dressed up as an ‘Unemployed’ person…

I jest…  All is not lost,,, you can follow my ramblings, encouragements and real life traumas associated with being made redundant and how (so far) I have survived it, on this very blog. More importantly others facing job loss or redundancy might find this stuff useful. If you do get to attend CRE, great. But that’s no reason to quit browsing now.

I won’t claim to be able to get you (or your friend) back into employment at the flick of a switch, but I hope that in parts at least should be equally entertaining as some of those late night Sci-fi TV movie offerings such as Rabid Frogs of Doom, Anaconda 999 or Destination Hornets Nest.

(Oh yes, you can search by topic to the right of this message)

If you are keen to get an abridged copy of this in handy book format… or you publish handy little books of relevance = do get in touch, I want to share the love with others struggling with real life issues associated with losing employment.

If you’re not sure where to start, how about here:-

Now What? (Sept 2007)

D Day (June 2007)

Signing On – My first time…

Dress to Impress?

– – – – – – – – – ends – – – – – – – – – – –

Blame Culture

I have just read a fascinating piece by a Martin Edwards on Leadership. I actually stumbled upon it when involved in some researching. Martins work is called “The Ten Values of Excellent Teams” – Worth a read.

If you work in what is known as a blame culture, I can empathise. I had to deal with it myself in a previous role when working in London.  If listening really is an indicator of how much a boss shows an interest in his staff and the value he places on them then this chap didn’t give a hoot. On my last day of working there, he didn’t even show up for work.

Sharing of news, and knowledge is of course key to good relationships, business or otherwise and this is something that I too have to work hard to work at. I fall into the trap often of thinking I have it all sussed. I don’t, and put my hands up to that.

Of course working in a company with a so-called blame cultures can be demoralising places to work.

Shifting blame – another phenomena, is hardly a basis for team building. I’ve worked in places where team means team and we all rise or fall together…

I’ve always thought that you get the best out of staff by involving, investing in, respecting, listening to and rewarding staff members. Consequently, the workforce is happier, leading to greater confidence in the leaders and services on offer, and productivity increases. If we’re to grow excellent teams Martin Edwards article gives helpful insight.

Only 2.47 million unemployed!

According to one newspaper today  “The fall in the UK jobless rate will raise recovery hopes.”

They go onto say that “the number of people unemployed in the UK fell by 34,000 to 2.47m in the three months to May”

Ok, but this is hardly heart warming stuff if you’re one of the 2.47 million.

Bravo!

Well done to Brian Woods and the BBC for the ‘Jobless’ programme broadcast this evening.

At last, a film that shows something of the reality of being out of work. Not easy to watch at times, but nevertheless important. Bravo!

Exit strategy

Someone once said ‘If You Don’t Know Where You’re Going, You’ll Probably End Up Somewhere Else’. Makes sense I suppose.

This said, I didn’t get there even though I thought I knew where I was heading. Maybe one day I will, but not now.

Maybe this new God given job opportunity amongst hairdryers, curling tongs, straighteners and the like is the death knell for my career in graphic design and design management. At the moment I sense that’s not all important. What is important is being obedient to God, working conscientiously for my new employers and being able to support my family. Period.

The practical side of extracting myself from two part time jobs has been rather weird and emotional, and could have been a real ‘mare, but thankfully it wasn’t. Both employers have

Well chuffed. A job at last!

Sunday 31st January 2010, I simply but boldly requested a miracle, and also presumed to give God a deadline too.

My prayer was for a job offer by the end of the week, (or within a fortnight at the latest). Admittedly I had already been interviewed for one role, related to joining the department stores Visual Team. What I didn’t count on was being called in for interview by a supplier of ‘Professional Haircare products of the electrical variety’ on the Thursday  – which resulted in with the promise of a job offer. On Monday I received yet another.

Two job offers within days of each other after over 2 years job hunting was rather, well, bizarre, rather humbling, weird, and pretty miraculous.

50

Getting to 50 is a landmark which some say necessitates a celebration, both elaborate and lavish. When I get to fifty this year, I would like to mark the occasion, but a party as such is not my style. Thankfully I have time to give it some thought. If when the day comes I happen to be in full-time employment I will have to ask for time off so I can do one or more of the following:

* A meal with friends or family
* Maybe I’ll get a tattoo, a tummy tuck or hair transplant
* A family trip to Brighton and back in a real Hummer (not an awful limo version!)
* A weekend break in Norfolk or Suffolk
* Afternoon tea or meal at a top London Hotel
* A Sherlock Holmes tour of London
* Visit Covent Garden and the Tin Tin shop

Of course no birthday would be complete without a cake, so a special delivery from Charm City Cakes would be awesome. And if they cannot oblige, I could always try to make one myself, decorated yellow and in the shape of a (you guessed it!) Hummer H3.

Class.